A Diminished Spiritual Life for my ASD Child is not an Option

DAN AT CHURCH

Dan receiving his birthday card from the Pastor’s wife and her granddaughter. The love him very much! 

I requested a weekend respite worker from the agency that works with my son to help me care for Dan during church service on Sunday. It took a while but they finally found one, a very lovely young lady. She came over for a preliminary interview and met Dan. Everything was going fine until I started to enumerate her responsibilities with Dan while we all attended church, then her face changed and she stopped me mid sentence. “I’m sorry but I wasn’t aware that I had to go to church with you guys, I can’t, I’m of another faith.”

At first, I thought, okay, next. This is not going to work out. A diminished spiritual life for my child is not an option. But she was so sweet and teachable, and Dan really took to her. So the thought crossed our minds that maybe it would be a lot easier for us to worship and serve in church if Daniel was watched at home. We had struggled with him in service for so long. Maybe this was a possible solution.

So we tried it for a couple of weeks, Daniel stayed home with our new worker and my husband, older son, and I went to church. It went well, but I did miss Dan’s presence in our pew. On the third week, our worker had an emergency and couldn’t make it so we took Dan with us, like we had always done before she came along. We struggled but it was fine. That week Dan started humming the songs he heard during service that Sunday; when I am weak you make me strong, when I’m poor I know that I’m rich for in the power of your name, all things are possible, all things are possible, all things are possible over and over again. Then he continued with say the name of Jesus…He’s gonna make a way when you say Jesus…, also hummed repeatedly.

That was a particularly rough week and I needed those worship songs to get me through. I felt so encouraged with these reminders from God and they came through Dan because we took him to church that week! That’s when I knew that God was trying to teach me a couple of things; Dan has a spiritual life and I needed to watch over it, Dan needs to be in church to encourage the people the same way he encouraged me during that week, and more importantly, God takes pleasure in Dan’s worship. I needed to continue to take Dan to church because the reward will always be greater than the struggle.

Lord, I pray that no one, including me, would underestimate Dan’s spiritual life and his role in the church.

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*This post first appeared in April 2017 on http://www.sandrapeoples.com.

Sandra Peoples (M. Div, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) is one of the leading voices in the special-needs community. She is the editor for Key Ministry and The MOB Society. She is the author of two popular self-published books: Speechless: Finding God’s Grace in My Son’s Autism and Held: Learning to Live in God’s Grip. She co-edited 30 Prayers for Special-Needs Parents. She also founded Special-Needs Parents Appreciation Month (which is celebrated in August).

Sandra is currently working on a new book for special-needs parents to be published by Bethany House Publishers and releasing in 2018 entitled, Unexpected Blessings: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special-Needs Family.

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My Mom Likes to Sew

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My oldest (M) wrote this little composition last year. I was happy for many reasons; his writing is getting better, he chose me to write about (you had to choose a family member) and he focused on my sewing. The last part, well…it warmed my heart.

One of the most difficult decisions I had to make when my kids got diagnosed with autism was to quit my job and stay home with them. Working from home can be quite isolating and it is still something I struggle with. This is part of the reason I started this blog, an attempt at community and a desire to want to be seen.

When my oldest came home with this essay it felt like he was saying “I see you, I see you sewing, and I know you like it, and I know it’s your job, and you are contributing to our family.” One of the issues some kids on the autism spectrum have is their inability to see outside their world. M would spend long stretches of time, by himself, lining up cars and playing with strings. He still will talk to you, hours on end, about sports, not caring whether you are interested or not. The fact that he now comes home, asks me about my day, what I sewed, who I printed on what t-shirt, well, it’s just so amazing for me to see. He has come such a long way.

Peek a boo, I see you. I played this with M all the time when he was younger. Well, guess what. He now sees me too.

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*Vintage post from March 2013. I have since returned to work, as a museum educator, on a part time basis.

 

 

Serenity Prayer T-Shirt Refashion/Reconstruction

SERENITY PRAYER T SHIRT REFASHION

I love it when the message and the medium come together! This was one of my very first t-shirt transformations. Someone gave me this t-shirt ages ago and, of course, I didn’t wear it because it was super big. I did love the saying, though, The Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

My oldest was about two years old and newly diagnosed with autism, when I rediscovered sewing again. Sewing refreshed me as a mother of special needs kids. It gave me a much needed break from visual schedules, tantrums, ABA, etc. Looking back, I didn’t consciously choose this shirt for my first recon project but how appropriate and timely was it, no? I sure needed this saying at this particular time. The shirt chose me.

Have you ever had a project that chose you?

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*Vintage post from 2012

Autism Acceptance/Awareness Starts with Me

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The other day I looked at my To Do list and thought to myself, “look at my world’s blending so nicely.” A little sewing, a little fashion, a little autism, a little working on my shop. I like this list.

In the past, I felt like I used to compartmentalize my life. Especially with this blog where, for a while, I decided that I would only talk about my sewing/fashion endeavors. Now, not so much. I enjoy giving people a glimpse into my life as a mother of a special needs kids who also runs a blog, an online shop, who likes fashion, etc. Sometimes my worlds collide and sometimes they blend nicely. This is Autism Acceptance and Awareness. As I accept my life and what it has become (the good and the bad), I can make others aware.

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*Vintage post from April 2013